Tuesday, October 30, 2018
The Two Should Never become one. addicts marrying addicts
So with having just beginning his new life and working staying clean etc. Our son decides to "help" another addict. bad move On the one hand I admired him for wanting to help her on the other I knew this was a bad idea but he wouldn't listen to me as I know nothing about anything.
Soon they were a couple, both in methadone clinic, (more about those later). She has her baby my son claims as his own, they are living a new couples life. They fight constantly and things are crazy at that house. My son is finally off all probation after many years and a heavy pot smoker. 11 months after the little boy was born they had another baby their little girl. I immediately notice the mom is totally detached from this baby.
First my granddaughters birth was horrible, she was born breach fee first and was supposed to be a C section but that didn't happen in time so out she is coming. That kind of birth is very hard o the baby and dangerous. When she came out she was a smurf like blue from head to toe. It was bruising form having to fit through the birth canal before the head could widen it. Than their was the drug withdraw. Methadone is a pain killer. It is given to addicts to keep them from having withdraw symptoms that is it. Some think Methadone is a magic elixir that makes them not want drugs. No, again it is a pain killer a drug you get a slight high from it you would get more high if you take more, you can OD on it, it is a pain killer. No addict wants to go through withdraw symptoms when they cant do drugs so methadone keeps them from the symptoms and gives them a little boost and as an added bonus it is legal so you can do it all you want, and if your indigent you can get it with Medicaid. The real kicker is these clinics that get rich off your addiction and never try to get you off the crap. (Methadone deserves its own post, I will do that one later).
So back to the baby, mom doesn't even get out of bed to go see her. she had her tubes tied and is lying in bed screaming in pain and they basically keep her out of it with pain meds for 2 days.
Meanwhile the baby tests positive for THC and the hospital call's DCF (dept of children and families) and my son is calling all of them liars and threatening to beat up the NICU doctor. So he gets ushered out and cannot come back until he works it out with them. I stood outside the NICU leaning against the window just looking at this beautiful creature wondering if this is the beginning what is next for her. She has a tube in her head and two IV"s. I also notice she is trembling. I tap the glass and the nurse comes out at first she is quite rude and I know it is because of my son and his wife. First I said, I want to apologize for their bad behavior (my daughter in law yelled at them when they suggested earlier that she come hold her baby) please understand I am here for the baby and not the adults. A new relationship Begin.
The nurse tells me the baby is in withdraw from the Methadone. She said "and whatever else they take". she said she tested positive for Opiates. She said she wasn't as severe as some babies but, that it was very hard on her. I asked if she was in pain and she said yes. She is going through what every adult goes through.
touching them actually hurts them
body aches like the flu
oh, so much more much more
for two day's I stayed at that nursery window going in when they would let me. They had her right against the window so I could see her. The nurse would come and position her so she could see me. See there was a baby in there with something going on and I never found out what so parents could only go in when that baby was out the nicu for tests. I think it was some kind of immunity thing but really I don't know and they cannot tell you. Once in the morning and once in the late afternoon I could go in. My heart broke and my anger increased over the next few days as I watched this little baby cry, scream, shake and tremble with the chills. I stupidly asked the nurse once,"does it hurt her bad"? The nurse replied. "ever have the flu, it's like the flu times 10". I remembered how bad these parents complained of how bad detox was for them. Did they think of how bad it would be on a 7.6 pound infant. All I could do is stand there for two days and pray. Oh and mom never came down once.
I'm going to close this page, I will be trying to finish up next post. Well actually I plan to blog about addiction indefinitely, but about my family which I wanted to share as I wanted people to know, I have been there and the fact that I got myself out of there.
Thank you as always please leave a comment and definitely share on your social media where ever. We really need to reach out to folks with this message.