Thursday, October 25, 2018

Drug Addiction Destroyed Our Lives


Pot turns into pills, pills turn into needles
my opinion, if you have addictive tendencies 
you wont stop at pot

I'm going to divert from Our families story on drug addiction and the destruction of my family for just a bit. I've gotten a questions from couple of folks and I feel it is important and do want to address it to all. I just published the part 2 of the series and I don't want to spam you with another post right away, but like I said this if important for us to talk about. If 2 people have the same questions my guess is more do and just don't ask.

I grew up with 2 brothers that were drug addicts and alcoholics. They were bad. The both died due to their drug addictions. Neither overdosed, well one did but it was intentional not accidental. More about those two later. My son is a very bad drug addict. He has been for 18 years and he is only 33. 

An addict becomes a pro at lying and hiding. There were times that my son lied to us and we would have sworn before God he was telling the truth. They are great actors too. They can spin a story to get out of or get something better than any Hollywood star. When I think of the things I have been told and believed I cringe.

A drug addiction counselor I spoke with about my son once told me, "Kathy, do you know how to tell if an addict is lying to you? If their mouth is open they are lying to you". I think truer words have never been spoken. So, with that said let's get on to some of the signs of drug abuse. What I said earlier about "revolving" means, 20 years ago drugs may have been used differently than now. The little tricks of today are different. So for me as an older person of 58 that feels like 88 things I saw my brothers do and heard my mother talk about are no longer relevant. Some are still the same. 

  • MONEYif your child or loved one gets paid on Friday and is totally broke on Monday trying to beg borrow or steal your money, they are probably doing drugs.  My son went to 500.00 in a weekend. Drugs area expensive
  • STEALING If you are missing things from your home the addict might be stealing and selling them for drugs. Look for things not obvious. The tools you hardly ever use, the jewelry in a box you never look at, golf clubs never used. Are you missing drugs? I know of a girl that stole her little sisters ADD medicine and sold it for drugs she liked.
  • ILLNESS/INJURYSick, as in not wanting to get out of bed complaining aching stomach problems sweating (which made me think he was breaking a fever). Anything flu like. This would usually but not definitely be during the week. They are high all weekend and if they can all week, but they run out and get very sick within a day or two. They cant get up for work school anything. Don't think if you threaten the doctor they will stop because they would love to go to the doctor where they can play their pain card and maybe get some pain meds.
  • INJURYAre they getting injured all the time, complaining I hurt my arm, I fell on my knee I cant stand the pain. They know that they may get some pain meds out of the ER, and they usually do. My son pulled this one all the time. I was in the medical field but his "acting" was so good I thought he was dying until I caught on.
  • PARAPHERNALIA Are you missing spoons? A friend once told me she was missing spoons, they were just disappearing. She than realized her kid was taking them. I don't remember if she knew but I remember telling her that is how heroin and other drugs are freebased. They will crush up pain pills, Ritalin anything in a spoon with fluid and heat it from the bottom with a lighter to mix it up enough to inject it. 
  • Do you find tons of water bottle around without tops? Not long after she was telling me that all the water bottles were missing caps and bottles of water left untouched. Now this I had never  heard of but knew I was about to get educated. So I asked, she said this is what they use now to dilute the drugs in water to inject
  • Do you find your regular white vinegar missing, in another room or pouted in something else and hidden like in the purse night stand wherever? I was told this is what they dilute the drug. they will also use anything acidic like lemon juice. I would think it burns
  • Does your kid or the bedroom literally smell like a skunk has sprayed? This is skunk weed, Pot. yes in our day it didn't but now some does. I once thought he snuck out his window left it open and a skunk got in. My daughter corrected me. 
  • Weight loss, my son once told me its called being "sucked up". If they get high all the time they lose their appetite, sell lunch money for drugs etc. The get really skinny. They lose muscle mass quickly. 
  • AVOIDANCE Are they avoiding family members? Especially ones that might guess what they are up to? Like siblings or cousins who may have friends doing the same thing. 
  • Do they suddenly have a torch instead of a lighter. torches cook drugs
  • Are they either nasty to you or overly friendly like they want something
  • Are they mean to sibblings more than usual
  • Do old friends avoid them, like their old cheerleading bud or fishing buddy. 
How they may look
My kid got skinny, looked pale, was hypo glycemic meaning got dizzy, weak anxious due to low sugar. Red rimmed eyes. Not Blood shot they usually use visine for that and that is usually only caused by pot. Sleep all day or go days with no sleep.
I always err on the side of caution. Especially when I knew he was using. if I thought he was he probably was. 
This is the same girl on and off drugs. Sucked up

Where are they hiding the stuff? Right under your nose

They can't really store their drugs and or paraphernalia in their car, bike, backpack or school locker. They have to keep it somewhere. Even if they don't have any weed, pills or whatever. Chances are they have paraphernalia. In fact they love their paraphernalia. I know of a girl who took a silver spoon from her mother and it was her favorite free basing spoon she told me. I made her give me her pills and needles and she said "oh can I have that spoon it's my favorite free basing spoon". Yea, I was blown away too. So where to look. Well first lets ask if you should look.

do you feel its wrong to search your kids room. Do you feel it's wrong to look at your loved one, spouse/significant others phone or pockets. 

My opinion, You better. Look, if you know your husband has a problem with an addiction and he is in recovery or maybe not. But you start seeing old signs of substance abuse what should you do? To me this is a case of respect and trust. Not for them but for you. If you have put up with that crap and you think it's happening again, I feel you have the right to look in the car, pockets phone whatever. Believe me, they are not going to come home one day and say honey, I'm about to ruin your life again, just a heads up. 
Your kids room and belongings. Well, again and I might get it for this but that is not your kids room or belongings they are yours. Now if you have a perfectly well behaved child. Doing their school work and other activities and not acting like a nut than you might want to not go on a treasure hunt. But if for one minute you think they are doing something wrong, if any of the signs above are there you probably should. Think of it this way, you could be saving their life. You could be breaking a drug experiment before its a bad habit. 
I didn't search my boys room until it was too late. That was the first time he went to jail. I hit the mother load. I was scared to death. I didn't know what to do with all the stuff. I found syringes, papers, pot, pills, a bottle of anabolic steroids, tiny little baggies, some unused some used with residue in them. Can you tell I had never searched his room. But, you should have seen me running around the house not knowing what to do. Cant throw it out, what if the cops come to search his room can I go to jail. Oh what a mess. I had to call our lawyer to find out. He sent a private investigator that works for him to collect it. I told him oh I can drop it off. "Kathy, its drug paraphernalia, get caught go to jail", oh yea. You can read more about our story on my blog look for The Drug addiction destroyed our family series. Yes it was such a long crazy story it became a small series. 

Where to find the stuff
  • In the bedroom: under bed between mattress, behind head board (taped) in box spring
  • in pockets of clothes in drawers and closet, in shoes and purses.
  • Taped to the back of all furniture, bed mirror night stands, etc.
  • Taped under draws behind drawers under lamps, in stuffed animal, buried in a plant
  • We had a dog chew a hole in his carpet. He stuffed things under it. 
  • when ours got older he removed the ac vent and hid things in their
  • Out side, under sheds, planters in the dirt around trees and in flower beds. I don't mean dig up the front yard but does anything look out of place. But don't miss under the shed, I hit a gold mind there as well.
  • In the battery compartment of radios, clocks etc. I'm not kidding. A cop once told me I should come along with them when they raid these little brats rooms.  
There are the obvious place's as well I was highlighting the places we don't usually think about. 

Well I hope this has helped some. None of us deserve to go through this. You give someone your heart and they destroy themselves everyone in their life eventually. Our addict is our son, yours might be a sibling parent significant other. I write this blog in hopes that someone will see something that might help. Even if its just knowing they are not alone. Please look at the other posts and you will see the Drugs Destroyed our lives series.

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The above link is for my Facebookgroup, "I love an addict". It's a new group but growing and full of information and support.

Not trying to help them or make it better is the hardest thing 
to stop doing. You must let them fall. My kid hates me, but I might
have saved his and my grandchildrens life

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