Thursday, October 25, 2018

Drug Addiction Destroyed our Family part 2

Hello all, I'm back. I'm going to be honest, I almost didn't want to come back for this 2nd post in the series about our family dealing with drug addiction. You see after writing the last post I began to feel anger and fear welling up again. When you have gone through it as long as I have you learn to set it aside when you can. You have to, if not you will lose your mind. There are things that bring it up again and you get those old fearful angry feelings all over. You have to catch yourself before it consumes you again. Right after I wrote the first post I began to feel those old bad feelings. On top of that I found a stuffed animal under my bed where my granddaughter left it the last time I saw her.

Recently I was chastised because I don't talk about recovery regarding my son. Well, let me just say that I don't believe that every addict recovers. If they did we wouldn't see this. 72000 deaths last year, 2017 to drug overdose. They didn't recover they died. Two of my brothers didn't recover they died.
I hope everyone hopes for recovery and that they get it. After 18 years of this with my child and the extent of his addiction, I'm sorry but I fear recovery isn't for him. I hope to God I'm wrong. Actually God can heal him I do believe that, I also know he is an Odinist and doesn't believe in God. I'm not sure how that works.

Our precious grand daughter. She is dressed up for date night with her papa,
She was born with THC in her system
and went through drug with drawl methadone and whatever else
 She is our world as we know
that since the day she was conceived her life has been a great struggle.
I think the children suffer more than any of us.

Believe me, it is cathartic to share all of this. It is important to share it as so many people are suffering with this problem. The Government is boasting about doing something about the "Opiod Crisis". So far I've heard nothing, Now yesterday Trump was supposed to tell us but the fake bombing news had to over ride that. Maybe another time.

It acured to me that if I explained and told the details of all of my stories it would take 10 posts not 3 and by than you would move on to another blog even it if was about how to eat sand just to get away from this one. 

I will try and get it all in but breeze through a lot of details. I will tell some stories that need to be told. 

I think its important to note that we were a normal family, My husband worked at  Patrick AFB until retirement. I was in the medical field for 25 years as an Office manager. We took them to church, we had wonderful family around, our home was modest but nice, we even put our son in private school in Jr. High as the school had a lot of bad kids in it. So our kid just shared drugs with the private school kids. It doesn't matter what you do where you live or how much money you have. Drug addiction does not discriminate. Heroin wants to kill all of our children.
Yes I do believe you do whatever you can to keep your kid away form the worst situations. Just don't be like us. Don't think you can let your guard down.

We opened an AC business for our son to have a trade as felons don't get good jobs.  My husband trained him and he was quite good, well on his way we thought. Clean, working hard, wasn't contacting old drug friends and living at home and treating us with respect. We had about a year of almost peace.But the ugly demon drugs reared its ugly head again.

After missing work, leaving customers in a lurch and stealing our personal belongings an business equipment and buying parts and tools on the business account and selling them. One day he came to work so high and thank God my husband met him there he sent him home. AC work can be very dangerous.

He came home and I was yelling at him about what he had been doing, I said what else do you want our blood? He threw the house phone at me hitting me in the chest. It was bruised and swollen. When his father came home after completing his sons job I said he has to go. Our son heard this and came out of his room screaming at me calling me every foul name and telling me I am crazy. He said I should go get a knife and cut my throat so others don't have to breath the same air I do.  I thought about saying wow, is that all you got but honestly I thought he was gonna hit me. Once he beat up his sister and tried to kill his father when he came in drunk. (yes were nuts)

His father and I that very night fired him and threw him out. That night. Not tomorrow, not when you find a place, tonight. He stayed with a friend. I was amazed that we did this and the moon didn't fall from the sky, that no one died because we finally did what we should have years ago. Remember  I said we never threw him out because he was young, we were afraid he would go to jail or get killed or kill someone. haha as if we had any sort of control.  We closed that business the next month. It took about 60,000 to open it up for about 1 year, simply trying to help him. My poor husband couldn't work it and work full time at the base and it was too small to sustain other paid workers to run it. Quite frankly we were getting to the point where we could barely hold our coffee cups.

He actually did great. The first few weeks he got a job, his own place and got in outpatient treatment. He started taking care of his little house and his dog and seemed very happy. I was proud of him and thought ok we did the right thing.

About 2 months into his being on his own his old friend, the man who befriended him at 15 and introduced him to alcohol drugs and breaking the law came back into our lives through his sister. Our son had known her when they were teenagers and he ran to her family when he was evading the law. People like this can be trusted to help you do what you shouldn't. They call it loyalty.

This young lady was 4.5 months pregnant, on heroin, and had no where to go. She also had a 6 yr old boy she couldn't take care of. So our son jumped on his horse and rode off and brought her home.  Just when you thought it couldn't get worse...….

It's probably time for a break, I sure hope you read the posts and I hope I can shed light on just one thing.

The next post will wrap up our son's life until now where he is in prison, his wife in jail and their kids well, I don't know.

Next issue:  Signs and symptoms of drug use, abuse and addiction. Old classic tell tale signs as well as the new ones. That's right folk even drug use evolves.
The above link is to my Facebook Group, "I love an addict"

Please comment so I know if I'm doing ok or boring you to death. Please share with anyone that needs this.

Until you have seen an infant go through drug withdraw you
haven't seen suffering. Watching my granddaughter in this pain and she
wasn't as bad as some babies is the thing that will haunt me the rest
of my life.

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